“Barnet Council in-house services could deliver £1 Trillion in savings over the next 100 years!”

Media spokesperson for Barnet UNISON ‘Handsoff Christian Anderson’ said that after consulting with members and retired members they had looked at the books and believe the savings are genuine.

Handsoff who has joined Barnet UNISON after working as a consultant for an Emperor (in a land far far away) said that he had made successful similar claims in his previous job. When pressed by local journalists he refuted accusations that his consultancy advice to the Emperor had been undermined by a little boy who noticed that the Emperor was in fact walking about in the nude!

Handsoff has pledged to draft a fairytale report and hand it to all Barnet councilllors at their Big Party on 17 May at Hendon Town Hall.

“We don’t have any evidence and we don’t know what we are doing but you just have to trust that we are right, just look at our claim £1,000,000,000 that is a lot of money and it all goes back into the community.”

Barnet UNISON unofficial auditor Rip Van Winkle after hearing the claims is reported as saying he “will have to sleep on it” before deciding if he can sign off the fairytale report.

Look out for further announcements from Barnet UNISON Easter Bunny later this week.